SHAKESPEARE WROTE THAT ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE.
HIS THEATER WAS CALLED THE GLOBE.
NOT ONLY WAS THAT LINE PHILOSOPHICAL AND DEEP,
BUT IT WAS ALSO A FUCKING PUN.
ALSO REMEMBER THE FAMOUS LINE FROM ROMEO & JULIET:
"A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME WOULD SMELL AS SWEET"
THE RIVAL THEATRE WAS CALLED THE ROSE
AND THEY HAD A SEWAGE PROBLEM
NOT JUST A BEAUTIFUL LINE BUT ALSO A PUN AND WILLY SHAKES THROWING SHADE
So it’s my birthday and I’m opening gifts. I open the wrapped box from my uncle.
I open the box, and find a $50 gift card, yes? But wait, there’s Styrofoam. There’s more.
Then I remove the Styrofoam…
A FUCKING LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
mY UNCLE GOT ME A LEGLESS LEGO LEGOLAS
bEST BIRTHDAY GIFT EVER
he then later gave me the legs.
LEGO LEGOLAS’ LEGO LEGS
Are you Luna Lovegood
Loony Luna Lovegood Lavishly Loving LEGO Legolas’s LEGO Legs
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
I looked it up b/c that was a very familiar idiom and how could it be wrong but then
yeah wow that’s spot on perfect